DABANGG - Return of the Man!!!

A Macho hello, freEk fellows!

Wet N' Wild Sallu!

For years, Bollywood cinema was dominated by stock character, the gareeb gaon ki gori, the evil (rich) zamindar/thakur/neta and of course the macho, boorish hero..who smashed the evil zamindar and swooped away the lovely gori all in a days work. When the Johars and Chopras of the world intervened and Bollywood shifted its focus to NRI cinema, where men in Armani wooed women in Gucci and the village background was replaced by the Golden Gate/Venice/Eiffel Tower etc. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Abhinav Kashyap's "Dabangg" threatens to return the macho hero of yore to his throne in Bollywood; does it succeed? read on...
What works: Dabangg is a rehash of the old gaon-in-distress story that Bollywood overkilled in the 70s-80s. Salman Khan plays Chulbul Pandey a boorish corrupt yet lovable cop who doesn't mind doing his job, as long he gets to make some moolah on the side. A misunderstanding leads to Chulbul seperating from his brother Makhanchand (Arbaaz Khan) and step father Prajapati (Vinod Khanna). Chulbul is also at loggerheads with Chedi Singh played by Sonu Sood. To add some meetha to this masala mix, walks in Rajjo (Sonakshi Sinha) to steal Chulbul's heart. While the plot is nothing new, its the little details that make this movie special. Chedi carries with him in his entourage a photographer, to capture his exploits! Chulbul manages to a dance sequence while bashing goons to a pulp! and yes, Sallu's bhabhi; the sizzling Malaika drops in to gyrate for the new national anthem.."Munni Badnaam"!

Bhala Mera cleavage, aapke cleavage se zyada kaise??

What Doesn't: The plot is old wine, in an older bottle, and actors such as Anupam Kher, Om Puri and Mahi Gill are wasted in slightly incosequential roles. But hey, I am just nitpicking here!

Verdict: Dabangg, rises over the maar-dhaad movies of yore due to one factor, and one factor alone: SALMAN KHAN! Sallu who previously portrayed the muscled buffoon in movies such as Wanted takes Chulbul Pandey a step further, from his tongue in cheek dailogue to his rippling muscles, he brings to screen a character worth remembering for a long time ( seriously in the recent past, after Munnabhai, which other Bollywood character is worth remembering?). The over the top action sequences ( apparently as much time was spent shooting them as a regular movie) and the pulsating movie add to this maar-dhaad-pyaar-vyaar-khichdi! Southern India always acclaimed Rajni as the king of the over the top films, where the hero performs superhuman stunts, passes ribald dialogue and has a laugh with the audience in doing so; with Dabangg, Bollywood has a Rajni of its own!! Critics always complained about Salman's lack of acting skills that put him notches below the acclaimed Aamir Khan, with Dabangg, Salman proves to the world, he may not be much of an actor, but he is the STAR!!

extra frEeky: I have a feeling Dabangg 2 will be upon us soon!!

Predators - Review!!!

A Jungli Hello, frEek fellows!!

For all the action buffs amongst us, John McTierman's 1988 "Predator" remains a masterpiece. It pulled of the impossible task of making Arnold Schwartznegger, look scared and introduced the world to the bad-ass alien hunter species known only as the PREDATOR. Sadly, none of other sequels (Predator 2) or even the cross-over with the alien species (Predator Vs. Alien 1 & 2) failed to live up to the tone set by the first one, which is a shame given that you would expect better movies due to better CGI, make-up and so on! When Robert Rodriguez, announced a re-boot of the Predator franchise to be helmed by Nimrod Antal (Vacancy), much hype was generated. When Oscar winner Adrien Brody was added to the cast, the hype bubble grew bigger! And when the final product released...

What it is: Continuing the tale of the Predators "hunting" other species, Predators tells the tale of several humans who find themselves on an alien planet, these being: Royce (Adrien Brody); A mercenrary, Mexican drug cartel enforcer Cuchillo (Danny Trejo), Spetsnaz soldier Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov), Israel Defense Forces sniper Isabelle (Alice Braga), Revolutionary United Front officer Mombasa (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali), death row inmate Stans (Walton Goggins), Yakuza enforcer Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien), and doctor Edwin (Topher Grace).

What Works: On a much larger scale than the 1988 original, Predators features some great visuals, the dark jungle locations are put to great use, the usage of CGI to create alien creatures is also nicely interspersed. The movie also benefits from the unique casting. While many had cried foul over casting someone like Adrien Brody (obviously much skinnier than Arnold), you may realise, that real-life soldiers/mercenaries, are actually lean rather than the bulk-a-saurus that Arnie was!! The fight sequence between Hanzo and a Predator, is one of the highlights of the movie ( cheesy, but fun!!)



What doesn't: The original Predator featured only one Alien, massacaring an all star team of mercenaries, hence the concept of a rag-tag team of convicts taking down several predators is a bit unsettling!!! While Adrien Brody does his best to play the "mercenary-with a conscience" none of the other characters do make a lasting impression.

Verdict:


A measly 2 FreEkies!!


Extra FreEky: Manliest Greeting ever...

Even Better Than The Real Thing..

A Wintery hello, frEeKy fellows,

This year's finest (bollywood) performance has finally arrived! With the release of R. Balki's PAA, Amitabh Bachhan treads into hithertho untested territory playing not only a "special" child ( read here my previous post about how actors playing special people are a shoo-in for the awards). In all seriousness, R. Balki's acerbic script, dripping with lighthearted humour combined with stellar performance by the Big B, make this a definite watch, even a notch better than the Hollywood original "JACK" that it was reportedly inspired from ( read up on my post about that here).

PAA thus joins an elusive league of desi movies, that I daresay, surpass the original film that they are inspired from. While Bollywood as we all know, shamelessly borrows liberally from its foreign film counterparts, and makes unforgivable desi versions that are too many and to bad to name here. There are a few gifted enough to borrow from the original and seamlessly integrate into Indian sensibilities ; join me tonight fellow frEeks in looking at some remakes that truly are,
even better than the real thing!!..

a) Dombivili Fast:

Directed by Nishikant Kamat, this 2006 marathi movie, was heavily inspired by the 1993 Hollywood movie "Falling Down" starring Michael Douglas. While Falling Down depicted the travails of a laid-off NASA employee - William Foster, played by Douglas. Foster's character, having just received the news of his unemployment, goes into depression and then into a self righteous rampage at the unequal distribution of wealth in the American society. Along the way he also dispenses his vigliante brand of justice to drug-dealers and the like. Dombivali Fast, made several years laters transposes the lead character to the bowels of Mumbai (i.e. Dombivali) and pulls no punches in showing his bleary life; from the mornings spent outside a water tanker waiting for his daliy quota of water, to the streetside cuppa tea that he has by the vendor outside his office, Madhav Apte ( played brilliantly by Sandeep Kulkarni)'s life is one monotonous day after which the director depicts thus..

Fed up by his wife's barbs about his self righteous anger, Madhav's rage boils over when a cold-drink vendor demands more than the regular price of a cola, leading Madhav to destroy his stall, and thereafter go on a righteous rampage much like Douglas' character in the original. While Falling Down created a few ripples at the time of it's release, it is to director Nishikant Kamat's credit that he has seamlessly integrated the theme of righteous anger, to perhaps an even more apt setting - the life of the Mumbai middle class man. Dombivali fast in exposing the stench of Mumbai's corruption, crowds and the rat-race which passes of as daily life; ultimately makes a far superior product than the movie which it was inspired from.

b) Chachi 420:

Chachi 420 a 1998 comedy film, by the legendary Kamal Haasan who also starred in the film as the main character, the movie was in no small measure by the brilliant Hollywood comedy , Mrs. Doubtfire starring Robin Williams. While one cannot measure the brilliance of Kamal Haasan's performance against that of Williams in the original, Kamal Haasan once again borrowed from the original and threw in some desi spic for good measure. What makes this remake as good or perhaps even a tad better than the original is the inclusion by Haasan, of perhaps India's greatest acting talent. Take a look at this brilliant scene..

By intertwining characters such as Amrish Puri ,who plays Kamal's father-in-law and who falls in love with Kamal's chachi avatar, Om Puri,as Amrish Puri's lecherous Bihari assistant; Johnny Walker,as an alchoholic make-up artist who disguises Kamal in his female avatar, Paresh Rawal,as Kamal's landlord who also has a crush on Kamal's female avatar, the script takes on some hilarious twists and turns all in no small part due to the inclusion of this brilliant ensemble cast!


extra frEeky: Kamal Haasan also starred in another remake, which matched the brilliance of its original inspiration "Nayagan"

Movie Review: KURBAAN

A Jihadi hello my frEeky fellows!

It's been several years since 9/11 now, resulting in a spate of movies from Farenheit 9/11 to Oliver Stone's World Trade Center to the brilliant United 93 It seems rather ironical that Bollywood's bandwagon is catching on to the trend, only now. Following in the footsteps of the daring ( for Yash Raj Studio's standards) NEW YORK is Dharma Productions KURBAAN



What it is: Directed by Rensil D'silva and starring India's Brangelina jodi: Saif and Kareena, Kurbaan tells the story of a teacher (Kareena) who falls for a dapper colleague played oh-so-suavely by Saif. Their fairy tale marriage seems threatened whenupon moving to the USA, Mrs. teacher realises that Mr. teacher has a few secrets up his kurta sleeve!

the YAays: Slickly shot, Kurbaan boasts of sizzling chemistry between its lead pair, however the much talked about intimate scenes come across as too corny! Kurbaan boasts of an excellent supporting cast including Kirron Kher who deviates from her usual boisterous Punjabi mother persona to an underplayed performance. Om Puri as an calculating terrorist leader, is in fine form.

the NaAys: One can't but help get the feeling of deja-vu while watching Kurbaan. While the initial reels, resemble the deceitful romance of Kajol and Aamir Khan in Fanaa, the latter reels invloving Vivek Oberoi's character too strongly reminds u of Neil Nitin Mukesh's character in NEW YORK. Kurbaan's biggest apparent flaw is that it tries to hard from being a thriller to a palette for the romance between its leads to a political commentary; and the strain shows!!

Rating:



a theek - theek three frEekies!

GOREY FILMAY, KAALEY LOG!

A million hellos, my frEEK fellows,

I was recently intrigued by the interesting article, by Expat on the Edge aka a brit journalist living in Mumbai; Naomi Canton. Naomi's article provided an interesting look at the various foreigners that work in Bollywood cinema. She interviewed foreigners of various nationalities that are "recruited" by casting agents at various "foreigner hangouts" such as Cafe Leopold, and are utilised as background fillers, dancers and such for Bollywood. While providing an interesting insight on the good and the not-so-good time faced by these people, the article was though provoking on Bollywood's need, nay obsession with foreign locations, stars - while perhaps subconsicously trying to measure itself with its firangi counterpart Hollywood. While Yashraj films was responsible for exposing us to the lurid locales of Switzerland, where nubile heroines cavorted in see-through chiffon, only to extoll the virtues of vestal virginity a few reels later. More recently Sajid Nadiadwala and Akshay Kumar's vanity project : KAMBAKHT ISHQ got us the chance to see aging Hollywood Lothario Sylvester Stallone and ex-bond girl Denise Richard cavort with Akshay and Kareena; and what a disaster that turned out to be.
This led me to wonder whether Hollywood has ever thrown a glimpse at our shores? have our actors ever been called into participate in their mega-dollar offerings, so join me then my frEEky friends as we dive once again in the murky realms of celluloid to see if whether we desis did make an impact on foreign shores:

a) SABU:

Perhaps, the biggest and yet largely unknown offering from India's shores was Sabu Dastagir (although that last name was an error ) Discovered by director Robert J. Flaherty during a search for the lead in Elephant Boy, 11 year old Selar Shaik Sabu was from a family of elephant vtamers, and his skills were put to apt use in Flaherty's film which was about a boy who magically communicates with elephants. While the film itself received mixed review, there was no doubting Sabu's charisma, as is evident from the clip below:

An instant box-office favourite, Sabu was loved by the audiences, and became a mainstay of all "exotic" films set in the "mysterious" and forbidden eastern realms ( any place outside America!)
one of Sabu's bigger successes was "Jungle Book" based on Rudyard Kipling's classic of the same name:

Sabu went on star in a loosely adapted version of Aladdin called the "Thief of Baghdad" where though playing the lead role, he played second fiddle to the smashing prince (played of course by, a gora)

Roles faded as Sabu's age advanced, and no longer was deemed "cute" enough to play his previous roles, yet he was part of the controversial "Black Narcisuss" which dealt with a nun-in-training being seduced by the prince of a mysterious eastern kingdom that she volunteers to work for.

Plagued in his later years for allegations of homosexuality, Sabu died a rather unfortunate and impoverished death. His legend hitherto unknown in his home shores, needs to be discovered and cherished.

b) Om Puri and Victor Banerjee :

An underrated actor of immense talent, and brother of Amrish Puri ( who played the legendary villain Mola Ram in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) Om Puri made some inroads into Hollywood cinema starting of with a bit cameo in Attenborough's Gandhi, he starred in the cinema adaptation of the " City of Joy " starring Patrick Swayze. Om went on to play the stereotypical Indian mystic in films such as the The Ghost and the Darkness starring Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas and Wolf starring Jack Nicholson. He has also made several appearances in well-meaning but lesser known movies such as "Sam and Me" Om's defining moment in foreign cinema was perhaps "East is East " a low budget british movie, where he played a muslim immigrant, married to a firang trying to keep his two sons rooted Indian culture, and not be swayed by the lure of the West. The movie was a runaway smash and showcased amply Om's acerbic comic talent to the world.





Victor Banerjee, finds himself mentioned here on account of his undoubted acting talent which led to his roles in Merchant Ivory's - 'Hullabaloo Over Georgie and Bonnie's Pictures" and David Lean's A Passage to India

and Roman Polanski's frEEky Bitter Moon. My favourite Victor Banerjee film is perhaps Foreign Body which stars Banerjee in the lead as a bumbling medical student who is mistaken for a high profile medical doctor and becomes the toast of high society London - the film was loosely remade as the The Guru. several years later.

c) Irrfan Khan :

Perhaps the most well known face of India in Hollywood right now, Irrfan announced himself as a global talent in Mira Nair's "The Namesake" , he followed it up with the true-life based "A Might Heart" also starring Angelina Jolie. Irrfan's most well known claim to fame is, you guessed it.. Slumdog Millionaire where as one reviewer put it, he effectively represented the audience in gauging the lead credibility in unbelievable adventures that he undertakes. Irrfan also made a blink-and-miss appearance in Wes Anderson's "The Darjeeling Limited . Irrfan's role was criticised by locals as an attempt to garner western publicity - to which Irrfan responded that his role was as a tribute to Wes, who was one of his favourite directors.
Jai Ho Irrfan,! may your talent never be restricted by geographical boundaries!

Extra frEEKy: Yes, there's Aishwarya Rai's foray in Hollywood, but then this article is about actors - i.e. people who can act!

G.O.A.T : Gayest Of All Time!

Hello my drenched freeklettes,

It's been a while since my last post, so as a special treat, and in celebration of this wee Blog crossing 30 posts, we present to you my discerning frEEk, a countdown of the Gayest films that ever hit celluloid. Sure you have heard of the biggest sci-fi flicks, or the most romantic mushy sappy fests, but have you wondered what the gayest movies ever are? well, wait no longer and read on..

G.O.A.T. NOMINEES:

It's taken us hours n hours of back breaking, crotch scratching work to come up with perhaps the definitive list, and so without further ado, we present the winners:

I ) BRONZE: ROCKY III

What it is? : That's right folks , behind all the machismo, muscles and aggressive posturing of this movie, lies a tender love story, where everyone's favorite dim-witted (read large hearted) Rocky Balboa(played by Stallone) gets his ass whupped a tough-as-nails Clubber Lang (played by Mr. T.) , and with unceremonious death of his mentor Mickey, Rocky has no one to turn to but his former competitor Apollo Creed ( played by Carl Weathers), what follows is a muscular romance, as Apollo instills some much needed "confidence" back into the "Italian Stallion" ( tell me if that isn't a gay name!) . Take a look at the below training montage, don't the Stallion and Apollo make a lovely couple as the jog into the morning sunrise or grapple each other after a sweaty workout, just a wee - bit umm, gay? look at how the camera caresses their rippling muscles and bulging .... you can't ignore the sizzling chemistry between the two

Gay Giveaways:

a) Slow-Mo Shots of sweaty briefly clad men? - yes!
b) Mucho tears on the death of a beloved "mentor" - yes!
c) Suggestive gay innuendo? - the "favour" that Apollo asks of Rocky!

So, there you have it folks, one of cinedom's most-loved macho tales, was in fact a paean to "brotherly love", still don't believe me, take a look at a collage of some of the more intriguing scenes in the film, Ding-Ding, Round's Over!!!

II) SILVER: SHOLAY

That's right folks, in second place is Ramesh Sippy's curry western, and perhaps the best-loved movie from the loins of Bollywood.

What it is? - Come on, do I really have to tell you!!

You can ride (my bike) anytime baby!

Gay Giveaways:
a) Two men doting over each other than respective ladyloves! the two macho guys even sings songs of their love to each other which suspicsiously go "yeh dosti hum nahin todanGAY!", and vow to each other that "tera saath na chodenGAY", I mean do u really need me to go on!
b) A Dacoit living on his lonesome, with his band of men, with a not a woman in sight? - yes! Sure Gabbar Singh is the biggest badass ever on Hindi cinema, but what do u make of a guy who is interested in the lads, rather than the women, for doesn't his most famous line go "KITNAY AADMI THE!" really now Gabbar!


3) GOLD WINNER: TOP GUN!

And going, nay soaring all the way to the top is the classic actioner from the 80s; that's right frEEks, the G.O.A.T. of all time is none other than TOP GUN!

What it is? : Well, a movie about fighter pilots, who wear Ray-Bans!

Gay Giveaways:
a) Semi Nude Hunks: Top Gun revels us with Semi-Naked Pilots that love the sight of each other! !

Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that!

b) Endorsement by Quentin Tarantino: So powerful is the gay mythos, in this movie, that one of favorite frEEk directors, Quentin Tarantino actually makes a movie appearance in the movie "SLEEP WITH ME" describing Tom Cruise's character "Maverick" brush with homosexuality! Take a look below!

So there you have it folks, the Gayest movie of all time, who would have known!! and as icing on your frEEking pie, here's once again Tarantino's dailogue interspersed with some "interesting" dialogue from the movie, finally out there for the world to see!



extra frEEKy: Is good to be back folks!

Movie Review: Star Trek...The Adventure Begins!

STAR TREK - THE ADVENTURE BEGINS!

Hello, fellow frEEklings!

Following the legendary run of the first Star Trek series (now enjoying its billionth re-run at a local cable channel near you), Gene Rodenberry's sci-fi saga kept being stretched, molded into makes, remakes and increasingly bad motion pictures.

If my cob-webbed memory serves me correctly, the fanboys through several online petitions made it clear, that they only way they would be interested in another Star-Trek spinoff, is if it would involve the shenanigans of the original crew onboard the USS Enterprise, yes. Capt. James T. Kirk and his rag-tag crew.

Few and cherished are those moments, when us fan-freeks get exactly what they ask, and so don your freeksuits one more time and set your phasers to stun as we launch into hyperdrive, to review the revamp of perhaps the greatest sci-fi saga ever (yes, excluding star-wars).


Behind The Scenes: J.J. Abrams, who helms this current revamp of Star-Trek has well established his skill at interweaving terse human drama with thrilling action sequences in outings such as the Alias series, Cloverfield and of course the under-rated Mission Impossible III. Adding further to the fan-frenzy was the addition of Zachary Quinto (of the t.v. series HEROES fame) as Spock - due to his uncanny resemblance to Leonard Nimoy (who played Spock in the original series). The icing cake was the 150 million dollar budget that the studios had shelled out for this flick. Ever since the first trailer leaked on to the net, fan-freeks had been salivating with glee!!

The Plot: If you really haven't heard about Star Trek until now, well umm.. wow!!

The Yaays: Fan-freeks can relax, the series is in safe hands (read: a lot more sequels can be expected!) What really impressed me, are the subtle references that J.J. Abrams makes to the tone and mood of the original 70s star show, from young Kirk's introduction in a vintage (70s style car) to an old industrial setting where we get to see the birth of the USS Enterprise; the movie successfully in rekindling the kitsch that made it so popular in the first place.
Freeks would remember the unabashed racial stereotypes employed in the original series such as the befuddled Scottish engineer conviniently called "Scotty" , now portrayed aptly by funnyman Simon Pegg, the sultry african communications officer "Lt. "Uhura" played ever so sultrily again, by Zoe Saldana. Of particular note, is the otherwise b-movie actor Karl Urban in his portrayal of the neurotic ship's doctor "Bones" McCoy legendary for his quip "I'm a doctor Jim, not a magician!"; Ubran brings a wonderful insanity to this paranoid doctor who accompanies the crew in its myriad expeditions.

Kirk (Chris pine) takes Command!

What particularly stands out is the sizzling chemistry between the cavalier Kirk (Chris Pine) and the zen-like Spock (Zachary Quinto) the two actors are worthy successors to the legendary roles that they have stepped in to fill.
and yes, true-blue Fan-freeks will recognize the sly reference made to Capt Kirk's raging libido (which was one of the running gags in the television series!).

the Naays:
The Battle scenes, in this movie, are of truly inter-galactic proportions, and while that's a good thing (if you're a 15 year old) it take a bit away from the main plot-line, the space-chases, exoplosions and myriad boom-bangs make you appreciate where the largesse of the movie's budget has gone, but you keep wishing for more drama quotient. Also, the time-travelling story-line without giving too much away comes across as a very convenient device to create plot twists - and hopes it is used to limited effect in forthcoming sequels.

Eric Bana - as NERO

Lastly, the previous Star-Trek series have thrown up some worthy villains for our crew to battle, and sadly Nero played by Eric Bana, does not match upto the best of them. But really folks, I am nitpicking here, these are but minor flaws in perhaps the most enjoyable movie of the year so far!

the Verdict:
/5

a solid 4 /5 frEEkies!!! LET THE SPACE OPERA BEGIN!!