Welcome back fellow freaks,
there's been a wee gap since my last post, and i'll try make it up with a (seemingly) intellectual issue. Sure y'all have heard of the relativity theory, the uncertainty principle, but here at freek-world, we have birthed one of our own, without much ado and further hump scratching we present to you the theory of....
"BE RETARDED; GET REWARDED!!"
As my fellow Freeks ( at least those who have got the opportunity to watch Tropic Thunder) will recollect, a whole lotta brouhaha ensued on Ben Stiller's satirical take on autistic ( the oscar -friendly word for RETARD!!) village bumpkin called "Simple Jack"
While the resulting fracas, led to the censoring of the "Simple Jack" promos (click on the title for much hilarity!!!), and even closure of a website devoted to this character, what this Freek wonders is to why there was such a ruckus in the first place? Wasn't Stiller's barb at many a Hollywood mega star's attempt to get critical acclaim (read OSCAR!) by playing a retard, well made?
Let us look at such retarded ( ahem....critically acclaimed) performances over the years!..One of the earliest attempts at the Retarded route to Oscar glory was made by Dustin Hoffman, in the somewhat overrated, yet enjoyable "RAIN MAN" our autistic (there's only so much times, i can use the "R" word now!!) friend can memorize phone books, and even make a killing at the blackjack tables!!! Hoffman gave the character, a nervous talk and a funny walk...one that took him all the way to the Oscar podium!!!
Not to be out-done the once king of summer blockbusters, TOM HANKS ( i guess the title currently goes to Mr. Will Smith) laid the smack down on reta....special portrayals of all time, in the super, duper, uber box office smash hit: FOREST GUMP!
it this cloyingly sweet fable, Hank's character starts of as a limping child, who miraculously abandons his crutches, and goes on to be a sports hero, a vietnam veteran, a world ping-pong champ, a business tycoon all while retaining his special (yup, that word again!) ways!
"Life is a box of chocolates" drawls Mr. Gump, "You never know which one you're gonna get!
what Mr. Hanks did know for sure, is that he would, and did walk away the Oscar that year!!
Other valiant attempts at being reta..special on screen, have included Jack Nicholson's
visceral portrayal of a lobotomized -rebel (never thought you would see those words together, did ya!) in the cinematic portrayal of Ken Kesey's novel :One flew over the cuckoo's nest
which performance truly, deserves (and won)the Oscar for this heart wrenching tale..
And while he may not have been an all out reta...(yes, yes, special) person, Sylvester Stallone also took Oscar glory for his portrayal as the hard hitting, really dim-witted boxer in Rocky Balboa and it countless sequels
( I heard in the next one, he battles arthritis!!)
So there you have it folks, a match made in heaven, the retard and the oscar! And for those amongst you who balk at my suggestion, just lay to rest your behinds for next year's much awaited release."THE SOLOIST" which features Jamie Foxx, as what else, a special (last time I promise!!) violinist, who is discovered by a talent agent, played by Robert DowneyJr. ( a
musician ( read oscar!) and a reta..(read oscar!)..you heard it here first folks!!!! see you at the podium, Mr. Foxx!!!
Mom always told me I was special! How come, I have no Oscar Award???