Thursday, July 23, 2009

G.O.A.T : Gayest Of All Time!

Hello my drenched freeklettes,

It's been a while since my last post, so as a special treat, and in celebration of this wee Blog crossing 30 posts, we present to you my discerning frEEk, a countdown of the Gayest films that ever hit celluloid. Sure you have heard of the biggest sci-fi flicks, or the most romantic mushy sappy fests, but have you wondered what the gayest movies ever are? well, wait no longer and read on..

It's taken us hours n hours of back breaking, crotch scratching work to come up with perhaps the definitive list, and so without further ado, we present the winners:


What it is? : That's right folks , behind all the machismo, muscles and aggressive posturing of this movie, lies a tender love story, where everyone's favorite dim-witted (read large hearted) Rocky Balboa(played by Stallone) gets his ass whupped a tough-as-nails Clubber Lang (played by Mr. T.) , and with unceremonious death of his mentor Mickey, Rocky has no one to turn to but his former competitor Apollo Creed ( played by Carl Weathers), what follows is a muscular romance, as Apollo instills some much needed "confidence" back into the "Italian Stallion" ( tell me if that isn't a gay name!) . Take a look at the below training montage, don't the Stallion and Apollo make a lovely couple as the jog into the morning sunrise or grapple each other after a sweaty workout, just a wee - bit umm, gay? look at how the camera caresses their rippling muscles and bulging .... you can't ignore the sizzling chemistry between the two

Gay Giveaways:

a) Slow-Mo Shots of sweaty briefly clad men? - yes!
b) Mucho tears on the death of a beloved "mentor" - yes!
c) Suggestive gay innuendo? - the "favour" that Apollo asks of Rocky!
So, there you have it folks, one of cinedom's most-loved macho tales, was in fact a paean to "brotherly love", still don't believe me, take a look at a collage of some of the more intriguing scenes in the film, Ding-Ding, Round's Over!!!


That's right folks, in second place is Ramesh Sippy's curry western, and perhaps the best-loved movie from the loins of Bollywood.

What it is? - Come on, do I really have to tell you!!

You can ride (my bike) anytime baby!
Gay Giveaways:
a) Two men doting over each other than respective ladyloves! the two macho guys even sings songs of their love to each other which suspicsiously go "yeh dosti hum nahin todanGAY!", and vow to each other that "tera saath na chodenGAY", I mean do u really need me to go on!
b) A Dacoit living on his lonesome, with his band of men, with a not a woman in sight? - yes! Sure Gabbar Singh is the biggest badass ever on Hindi cinema, but what do u make of a guy who is interested in the lads, rather than the women, for doesn't his most famous line go "KITNAY AADMI THE!" really now Gabbar!


And going, nay soaring all the way to the top is the classic actioner from the 80s; that's right frEEks, the G.O.A.T. of all time is none other than TOP GUN!

What it is? : Well, a movie about fighter pilots, who wear Ray-Bans!

Gay Giveaways:
a) Semi Nude Hunks: Top Gun revels us with Semi-Naked Pilots that love the sight of each other! !

Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that!

b) Endorsement by Quentin Tarantino: So powerful is the gay mythos, in this movie, that one of favorite frEEk directors, Quentin Tarantino actually makes a movie appearance in the movie "SLEEP WITH ME" describing Tom Cruise's character "Maverick" brush with homosexuality! Take a look below!

So there you have it folks, the Gayest movie of all time, who would have known!! and as icing on your frEEking pie, here's once again Tarantino's dailogue interspersed with some "interesting" dialogue from the movie, finally out there for the world to see!

extra frEEKy: Is good to be back folks!

Friday, July 3, 2009

GAY HO!! - a celluloid take on homosexuality

Hello my steamed frEEksums!
It was a landmark day for the swingers, kite-runners, behnas last week with the Delhi High Court, declaring void, the Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code ( seriously, isn't it ironic that something known as the Penal Code banned sex!)
For those not in the know, the said section codified in the 1800s by the Brits, prohibited "unnatural" sex (man, the Brits, really were prudes!) and effectively banned homosexuality, whatever our stance may be on homosexuality it is a welcome relief, that the judiciary has kept up with changing times. Join me then my fellow frEeks in celebrating the depiction of the alternate lifestyle on celluloid!
The leading take on history of homsexuality in cinema, and amongst actors is the "Celluloid Closet" written by Victor Russo, which was later into a movie, on the same name, take a look:
The movie, takes an witty look at the exaggerated portrayals of homosexuality in early hollywood, where the "gay" man had overtly effeminate characteristics, dressed in drag and even carried a purse! In several films, the gay had character confessed his "sin" on being "different"! While Hollywood later portrayed more realistic homosexual character, there was always that sterotypical movie which portrayed gay men, as campy cross-dressers, or lesbian women as crazy violent bitches,
some of the better portrayals of omosexuality include:
"My Own Private Idaho" - which was a sensitive portrayal of Keanu Reeves, as a wayward youth who becomes involved with a gay lad played by River Phoenix
and Tom Hank's Oscar winning turn in Philadelphia - where he plays a gay lawyer afflicted by AIDs

and of course, the unforgettable "Midnight Cowboy" starring Dustin Hoffman and Jon (Angelina ka baap) Voight sad tale of a wannabe actor (Voight) forced into gay prostitution to make ends meet..

Bollywood on the other hand still has a coy relationship with homosexuality and
for the exceedingly rare "My brother Nikhil"

There is always the cliched portrayal of the homo/lesbo character, most notably for cheap thrills, the nadir of which was "Girlfriend" in which Isha Koppikar portrayed a boyish lesbian who

decides to kill her lover's boyfriend to prevent her from going straight, the movie aimed to titillate the basest of crowds, and garnered publicity due to the outcry that the "moral police" made in wanting the movie shut down!
Even the recent Dostana which was a blatant rip-off of the Hollywood flick "Now I pronounce you Chuck and Larry" had its cast proclaiming it to be India's first "Gay flm".. resorted to camp humour and gay stereotyping to bring in the laughs!
All the while, Homosexuality and celluloid have become comfortable bed-fellows ( yes, pun very much intended!) what with movies such as :
the Bird-Cage: starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane as a gay couple whose adpoted son falls for the daughter of an ultra conservative politician played by Gene Hackman

or event "To Wong Foo with love, Julie Newmar" - which starred the macho Patrick Swazye and Wesley Snipes as cross dressing gay dancers..

and of course homoerotic vampire thriller "Interview with the Vampire"

and yes, that little movie about the two Cowboys..

which have all gone on to become huge blockbusters!

Who knows, what the frEEking future holds, a gay James Bond perhaps???

You heard it first here folks!!!

Extra frEEky: Midnight Cowboy is the only X rated movie, to win an Oscar!


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