The new year has laid out a sample of its fares (of upcoming movies that is!) and from the looks of it, "teaming-up" seems to be the new mantra to hit box office gold.
Do the idea of cinematic extravaganzas that feature, teams of rag-tag do-gooders that take on insurmountable odds (i.e. the summer box office!) and hopefully come out triumphant, tickle your orifices? then fret not my freckleberries..for the box office doyens have concoted for your viewing pleasure not one, not two..(ahh who cares, you will read on anyways!!)...
here then are the team-up extravangzas that will hit your silver screen this summer, may the best team win!!
What it is? :Yes, the title's a cuss word, and yes my freeklings it is spelt incorrectly! This long-in-the making feature from Quentin Tarantino is his tribute to the old-fashioned team-up movies of yore (e.g. the Dirty Dozen, Guns of Navarone etc.) the plot pays tribute to the Dirty Dozen movie, and involves a group of american convicts who are recruited by the infamous Sergeant "Aldo Raine" to assasinate a German Commander as he watches a movie in a remote swiss town! The script (you can read the review here) has been developed by Tarantino for a while now, and has already gathered rave reviews!
Who it is?: The movie features Mr. Jolie (otherwise known as Brad Pitt) as the infamous "Aldo Raine" other quirky performers such as Simon Pegg and of course Tarantino's BFF - Eli "Hostel Roth"
Extra Freeky: Micheal Madsen was at point chalked in to play a character in the movie, called "Babe" Buchinsky - in tribute to Charles Bronson's character in Dirty Dozen of the same name!
Team #2: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen!:
What it is? : Micheal Bay, Megan Fox, Shia Leboeuf and yes two teams of Giant Robots that can also change into some pretty nifty vehicles ( and who are fighting with each other for some reason, that you will never bother, once you have glimpsed at Megan Fox's cleavage on screen!)
Who it is? - Big F***king Robots and Megan Fox's cleavage! (enuff said!)
Sneek Freek: take ur eyes away from meg's gratituous goodies, and click on the pic to watch the mucho-awesome trailer!!
Extra Freeky: That huge-ass Robot that appears in the above trailer..and makes Optimus Prime look a like a pea....is the DEVASTATOR!..comprising of at least 3 autobots (evil robots) FREEKING YEAH!
Team #3: G.I. Joe
What it is?: The All American elite commando team finally gets its on screen time, with this version directed by Stephen "the Mummy" Sommers, be prepared for some bloodless violence, harmless bad-guys with over-elaborate schemes to take over the world, and yes some great summer entertainment!
Who it is: If you have been a GI Joe freek ( as I admittedly have, for a very, very brief period) you will cherish Dennis Quaid as Hawk, Tatum Channing as Duke and the Mummy himself..Arnold Vosloo as Destro!
Extra Freeky: check out IGN's excellent video-clip detailing the various cast member in the Joe and the Cobra team!
Team # 4: THE EXPENDABLES!
Team # 4: THE EXPENDABLES!
What it is? :The revenge of the steroid pumped, oiled, coiled gun-toting heroes of yore!
that's right peeps, this is Sly Stallone's low-budget -high on testosterone -take on that much abused classic Dirty Dozen!
Who it is: Sly has already chalked up ...Jet -Li, Jason Statham, mickey-Rourke, Randy Couture, Dolph "Ivan Drago" Lundgren, and yes a cameo by Ah-nuld Swchwartznegger himself!
Are ur unmentionables tingling with glee? then hold onto them, as i reveal the less than meagre plot about a group of mercenaries ( can a stallone movie be about anything else?) sent in to overthrow an evil durg-lord in some south american country! plot-schmot! who cares, this movie's gonna have more chest on show than an entire season of Baywatch! With the return to the visceral form that Sly displayed in the last Rambo offering, this should be getting all us fan-freeks of the 80s action genre giggly once again!
sneak freek: sorry folks, sly and co. are still pumping at the neighbourhood chemist...errr..gym, and weren't available for any pic!
extra freeky:Sly writes, directs, and yes acts!!!! and yes...there's Ben -gandhi-kingsley too!!!
So there u have it my freekles, this summer's buffet of team-em-ups! which one's ur fav? the robotic might of the transformers? the oiled up chests of the expendables? or the-all american joes?
rave, rant or generally keep in touch at: firstname.lastname@example.org
till next time....