My name is....(an open letter to SRK)

Dear Mr. Khan,

my name is (never mind, that's what got you into all ths trouble in the first place didn't it?) and I am a big fan of your work. I am really saddened by the news that your latesht film "My Name is Khan" may not be seen in Mumbai due to the Marathi manoo's backlash against your "foot-in-mouth" disease syndrome.

While it be far from me to adjudge the veracity of this issue (I can picture the Sainiks burning printouts of my blog!) , I am very keen to see your latesht picture release in aamchi Mumbai
(which counts for 20-25% of the movie's gross, I heard you say on a leading channel), and as your most humble fan, suggest that a slight change of title might work, in appealing towards one and all, before closing this blessed blog, hear me out, for I present to you not one but three alternate titles, which mught help in finally releasing this movie..

a) My name is KHANolkar:

Khanlokar is a typical maharashtrian name, and it will please the marathi manoos no end, that they have finally got a movie with a maharashtrian leading character; after all the gujjus got one with that film called "Gandhi".

b) My Name is Thackeray:

Sir, surely you realise that both your political tormentors (the MNS and the Shiv Sena) share one thing in common ( besides the penchant for burning your posters) is the surname Thackeray! and what better way than to appease these two birds than with this dramatic change in name, Although I cannot rule out political clashes between these two parties, on which Thackeray it is that you claim to be!

c) My Name is KHAN (3-D)

Sir, James Cameron's 3-D extravangza Avatar has been smashing local box office records, and I see huge potential in upgrading your latesht picture in this manner, although the sight of the hatti-katti Kajol in 3-D may not be for the faint hearted!!

d) My name is Khanna:
Do you remember that recent Salman Khan starrer called "Main Aur Mrs. Khanna"? no?...well neither does anyone else! by this change of title of your movie, you can pass this off as the sequel to that imminently forgettable film, and avoid all controversy!!

e) The 4th Idiot:

Sir, at the risk of being politically incorrect, we all know that you play a "special" (read idiot) in the film, and what better way than this to ride on the success wave of your close friend ( read rival) Aamir's blockbuster 3 idiots! Didn't Aamir ensure that Ghajini lookalikes flooded the theatre during the release of your "Rab ne Bana di Jodi"

I hope the suggestion of a name change, does not anger you. "What's in a name..." Shakespeare had once said, and surely you will agree, for haven't you played the same character in so many different movies, with different names? what's in a name indeed!

your most humble fan

film frEek!

cc: Mr. Karan Johar

My name is K..K.K. KHAN!

A sleepy Sunday hello, my frEEky fellows!

We are awakened from our slumbers with the "shocking" news of Bollywood's Badshah
(does that title still apply I wonder?) Shahrukh Khan being detained for questioning at Newark airport. The impossible has happened, and the furore over swine flu, the drought, hell event the Ambani Brothers have been eclipsed by this event of catastrophic proportions.
It cannot be denied that said event reeks of racial stereotyping and was an easily avoided incident, especially given SRK's megastar presence, It was SRK's close friend Karan Johar who had once recounted how SRK had generated more crowds for a movie premier in London, than had Tom Cruise at a theater near by. Surely then it would not have been hard for airport authorities to recognise who they had detained.

What pertrubs me, is that said event too closely mirrors the plot of SRK's upcoming release called "MY NAME IS KHAN" - directed by close friend Karan Johar, the movie tells the story of an autistic patient (played by SRK) who is detained by U.S. officials, during 9/11, when is unable to answer their questioning due to his mental condition, the film goes on to show the efforts of SRK and and his wife (played by Kajol) to clear his name. Both SRK and Karan Johar have a lot riding on this movie, and have inked out a mega-dollar deal with a Hollywood Studio to promote the same. SRK can also use all the publicity he gets on this outing, as it is reportedly to be a songless film ( it would be a stretch even by bollywood standards to have an autisitic patient sing around trees!)


Bollywood has not been a stranger to publiicity stunts, several years ago, cheap-thrill-generator-extraordinaire Mahesh Bhatt had spalshed adverts in dailies claiming the murder of Manisha Koirala (remember her?). This turned out to be a marketing gimmick for his upcoming movie "Criminal" where Manisha played the murdered wife of the protganist. In the wake of the Gulshan Kumar murder, Mahesh Bhatt again was held responsible for creating a rumour about the SRK being shot on the sets of his then movie "Duplicate".


So there you have it folks, a sad case of mistaken identity or a publicity stunt like no other? Whoever said all is fair in love and war, forgot to mention movie publicity, after all a bollywood potboiler has equal amounts of love and war!!

extra frEEky: Duplicate was also produced by Karan Johar's production house - Dharma Productions!!