My name is....(an open letter to SRK)

Dear Mr. Khan,

my name is (never mind, that's what got you into all ths trouble in the first place didn't it?) and I am a big fan of your work. I am really saddened by the news that your latesht film "My Name is Khan" may not be seen in Mumbai due to the Marathi manoo's backlash against your "foot-in-mouth" disease syndrome.

While it be far from me to adjudge the veracity of this issue (I can picture the Sainiks burning printouts of my blog!) , I am very keen to see your latesht picture release in aamchi Mumbai
(which counts for 20-25% of the movie's gross, I heard you say on a leading channel), and as your most humble fan, suggest that a slight change of title might work, in appealing towards one and all, before closing this blessed blog, hear me out, for I present to you not one but three alternate titles, which mught help in finally releasing this movie..

a) My name is KHANolkar:

Khanlokar is a typical maharashtrian name, and it will please the marathi manoos no end, that they have finally got a movie with a maharashtrian leading character; after all the gujjus got one with that film called "Gandhi".

b) My Name is Thackeray:

Sir, surely you realise that both your political tormentors (the MNS and the Shiv Sena) share one thing in common ( besides the penchant for burning your posters) is the surname Thackeray! and what better way than to appease these two birds than with this dramatic change in name, Although I cannot rule out political clashes between these two parties, on which Thackeray it is that you claim to be!

c) My Name is KHAN (3-D)

Sir, James Cameron's 3-D extravangza Avatar has been smashing local box office records, and I see huge potential in upgrading your latesht picture in this manner, although the sight of the hatti-katti Kajol in 3-D may not be for the faint hearted!!

d) My name is Khanna:
Do you remember that recent Salman Khan starrer called "Main Aur Mrs. Khanna"? no?...well neither does anyone else! by this change of title of your movie, you can pass this off as the sequel to that imminently forgettable film, and avoid all controversy!!

e) The 4th Idiot:

Sir, at the risk of being politically incorrect, we all know that you play a "special" (read idiot) in the film, and what better way than this to ride on the success wave of your close friend ( read rival) Aamir's blockbuster 3 idiots! Didn't Aamir ensure that Ghajini lookalikes flooded the theatre during the release of your "Rab ne Bana di Jodi"

I hope the suggestion of a name change, does not anger you. "What's in a name..." Shakespeare had once said, and surely you will agree, for haven't you played the same character in so many different movies, with different names? what's in a name indeed!

your most humble fan

film frEek!

cc: Mr. Karan Johar

My name is Khan...his is Thackeray!

a brief hello my frEeky fellows,

The recent brouhaha surrounding Balasaheb Thackeray's (yes, of the esteemed Shiv Sena fame) ire against Shahrukh Khan left me truly befuddled. Surely a man of his political stature had better items on his agenda than to rabble rouse against an actor (even one as prolific as Shahrukh Khan), was the Shiv Sena venting its anger against posters and publicity material of Shahrukh's forthcoming movie "my name is Khan" (MNIK) truly justified?? Consequently surely someone as business savvy such as Shahrukh - the megastar, and the only Indian to have been gifted an island in the palm shaped Dubai island project, know better than to irk the wrath of the marathi tigers? surely not!

Is there perhaps more than meets this eye? Shahrukh's MNIK is set to release around the corner, and SRK himself is in desperate need of a blockbuster hit, especially since rival Aamir Khan having just delivered the biggest hit of hindi cinema. But is there a deeper motive to this apparently ill-timed controversies. Remember these are unusual times we live in, where unusual methods are used by stars to get publicity for their films, so where we had an Aamir Khan turning up in various disguises around the country to publicise "3 idiots" Salman Khan participated in a horse race to promote "Veer", even the Big Bachhan, appeared as a news anchor on a leading television channel to publicise his news-channel themed movie "Rann" which releases today. Is then too far fetched to think that b irking the Sena into a ban of MNIK, SRK is perhaps attempting the most perverse publicity stunt of them all? Fellow freEks may remember a previous situation, where SRK complained of detention at an American Airport due to his muslim roots, and made utilised every possible newsbyte to regurgitate that his name indeed was Khan!!!
One must also not forget that Bal Thackeray and his cohorts, have been around for ages, and are all too aware of how the political game is played. As a lawyer of an American fast food chain, I had the opportunity to meet with Sena officials, who had negotiated the amount of damage, that they would be carrying out to the chains store, in protesting against lack of employment of the marathi manoos. Why the extended courtesy you ask? surely you will remember that it very corporations such as this that would fill up the Sena's coffers come election time! Surely then the Sena whose mileage with its votebank suffered during the last elections, due to the emergence of Raj Thackeray, would not be amiss from using this publicity opportunity!

While it far be from me to pass judgement on this issue, remember that necessity ( or publicity) always makes strange bedfellows!!!

extra freeky: MNIK releases in two weeks from now!

My name is K..K.K. KHAN!

A sleepy Sunday hello, my frEEky fellows!

We are awakened from our slumbers with the "shocking" news of Bollywood's Badshah
(does that title still apply I wonder?) Shahrukh Khan being detained for questioning at Newark airport. The impossible has happened, and the furore over swine flu, the drought, hell event the Ambani Brothers have been eclipsed by this event of catastrophic proportions.
It cannot be denied that said event reeks of racial stereotyping and was an easily avoided incident, especially given SRK's megastar presence, It was SRK's close friend Karan Johar who had once recounted how SRK had generated more crowds for a movie premier in London, than had Tom Cruise at a theater near by. Surely then it would not have been hard for airport authorities to recognise who they had detained.

What pertrubs me, is that said event too closely mirrors the plot of SRK's upcoming release called "MY NAME IS KHAN" - directed by close friend Karan Johar, the movie tells the story of an autistic patient (played by SRK) who is detained by U.S. officials, during 9/11, when is unable to answer their questioning due to his mental condition, the film goes on to show the efforts of SRK and and his wife (played by Kajol) to clear his name. Both SRK and Karan Johar have a lot riding on this movie, and have inked out a mega-dollar deal with a Hollywood Studio to promote the same. SRK can also use all the publicity he gets on this outing, as it is reportedly to be a songless film ( it would be a stretch even by bollywood standards to have an autisitic patient sing around trees!)


Bollywood has not been a stranger to publiicity stunts, several years ago, cheap-thrill-generator-extraordinaire Mahesh Bhatt had spalshed adverts in dailies claiming the murder of Manisha Koirala (remember her?). This turned out to be a marketing gimmick for his upcoming movie "Criminal" where Manisha played the murdered wife of the protganist. In the wake of the Gulshan Kumar murder, Mahesh Bhatt again was held responsible for creating a rumour about the SRK being shot on the sets of his then movie "Duplicate".


So there you have it folks, a sad case of mistaken identity or a publicity stunt like no other? Whoever said all is fair in love and war, forgot to mention movie publicity, after all a bollywood potboiler has equal amounts of love and war!!

extra frEEky: Duplicate was also produced by Karan Johar's production house - Dharma Productions!!