KITES review - Kati, Phati Patang!!!

A Patangi hello, freEky fellows!

Ever so often our desi stars get the urge to try their luck on firangi shores. Dharmendra tried this with Shalimar, Amitabh was to dive into the now cancelled Shantaram, and reportedly SRK turned down a role in the Bond thriller Tomotrrow Never Dies. It is now the turn of Hrithik to aazma his fortunes on videshi audiences and he does this, as usual with the help of papaji and uncleji dearest who collaborate with him in their latest bilingual outing.. KITES What it is:In a plot, suspiciously similar to the Kevin Costner, Anthony Quinn starring thriller called “REVENGE”...

Hrithik stars as “J” a swashbuckling salsa expert (what an Indian is doing teaching salsa to the Spanish, is best left unanswered!!) who also runs a side-business of marrying illegal immigrants from Mexico to bring them into the USA. When the “bigdi-raeez” daughter of a ruthless casino owner played by Kangana Ranaut takes a fancy to him, he decides to play along and seems well until he discovers that the casino owner’s daughter-in-law is one hot chick (Barbara Mori). Aur pyaar ho jaata hai..

What works: a) Hrithik in his Macro Man banian and Hot Chick in various brands of lingerie, make a stunning couple, their chemistry is certainly sizzling!! b) Kites is touted to be one of the most expensive Bollywood movies ever, and the car chases and lavish desert shots justify the costs well spent! c) With only one song sequence, Kites thankfully does not have a “I don’t know what you say…” (EK DUJE KE LIYE) like number where the bilingual lovers croon to each other!!

What Doesn’t: a) With a wafer thin plot-line Kites is essentially a mish-mash of the star-crossed lovers tale such as Ek-Duje Ke Liye, Qayamat se Qayamat tak with a firangi chick! In fact, it bears eerie similarities to Enrique Iglesias’s video “HERO”.


b) Acting talent such as Kabir Bedi and Kangana Ranaut are reduced to playing over-exaggerated characters and are thoroughly wasted!! Verdict: Despite the lavish setting and the sizzling Mori, Kites leaves you unsatisfied. Given that it is to have a huge US release (with a version re-edited by Brett Ratner) it leaves you with a feeling that it is perhaps a show-reel of Hrithik Baba’s acting “talents” meant for western directors and audiences, in much the same way Roshan Sr. had lovingly crafted “Kaho Na Pyaar Hai” to previously showcase Hrithik’s talents for the Indian junta a decade ago!

Extra freEky: Ratner has just announced an upcoming movie with Hrithik (big surprise !!!)

The Avengers : The Biggest Superhero Movie Ever!

A Super-heroic hello, my freEk fellows!!!

Over the last few years, comic-book giant Marvel has got its act together and taken creative control of the screen adaptations of its comic book properties. As a result, we got to see the the reboot of the Incredible Hulk, the awesome Iron Man and its sequel. but Marvel isn't done yet!!

Those who have watched the above movies will clearly remember the cameo by Tony Stark
(Robert Downey Jr) in the Hulk movie, which went something like this...

Tony makes the mention of the "Avengers Initiative" in his brief yet snappy cameo! freEks will also remember my previous post where I had scooped out the presence of another superhero in the Incredible Hulk, that superhero being none other than Captain America! take a look...

Not to be content with one Captain America cameo, Marvel also shoved Captain America's trademark shield in both the iron man movies...
IRON MAN 1:

IRON MAN 2:

If that's not all, IRON MAN 2 contained a post-credits scene hinting at the arrival of yet another superhero: THOR!!

Check out Thor's Hammer in the last frame!

The Avengers Movie:
What does this crossover brouhaha mean you ask? Well, the frEek has all the answers! Marvel will shortly roll out movies featuring Thor directed by Kenneth Branagh and starring Chris Helmsworth, the first image has already been leaked out...

chris hemsworth as Thor

The next on the block is of course Captain America directed by Joe Johnston and starring Chris Evans.

Actor Chris Evans will star as Captain America

As a final coup-de-grace, Marvel plans to unite all these characters in what will be known as the "Avengers" movie which in turn is modelled on the comic book superhero team of the same name. Marvel has gone ahead and signed sci-fi director extraordinaire Joss Whedon as the director for the same. Still don't believe it? here's further proof:

The above picture, is a capture from Iron - Man 2 showing a map of "super -powered" individuals across the globe, as indicated from the circles on various continents. These are the superheros that Nick-Fury (Samuel Jackson) wants to unite as the Avengers. Apart from the circles in the Americas ( Iron Man, Hulk) of particular note are the ones in the North Pole (being the frozen Captain America) as well as one in the middle of the ocean could

this be a secret nod to yet the introduction of "NAMOR" who is Marvel's underwater superhero? time will tell!! So there you have it folks, an exclusive freEk-peek at the superhero extravangza starring Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and a slew of smaller superheros!

Will this be the greatest cinematic miracle since buttered popcorn or a mish-mash of many genres? We can only wait and freEking watch!!

That Extra FreEky: You always hear it here, first folks!!

IRON MAN 2 review: Suit to Thrill!!

A metal suited hello my freEk fellows!!

When Marvel released the first Iron Man a couple of years ago, the brilliance of this movie with Jon Favreau's crackling direction and Robert Downey Jr's bang-on portrayal of Tony Stark was all but overshadowed by another superhero flick released at that time, which went on to become the 2nd highest grossing film of all time ( yes, we are talking about the Dark Knight). With a bigger budget and the inclusion of some major acting talent IRON MAN 2 seems placed to deliver a knock-out punch to all it previous competiton, does it deliver the goods? read on...

Ok, which one of u farted??

What works: IRON MAN 2 was given a substantially larger budget to operate from and it shows! more explosions, bigger baddie robots and a beautifully shot fight against the monaco grand prix, make this the perfect popcorn flick!! Robert Downey Jr. (RDJ) brings his game on as the eccentric genius that is Tony Stark, it is hard to imagine any other actor bring such quirkiness into even a tiny scene such as where Tony eats a box of strawberries that he buys by offering the seller, his Jaeger Le Couture watch! Sam Rockwell (SR) as Justin Hammer, Tony's rival dials in a brilliant performance bringing equal parts goofiness and evil, frEeks might remember that SR was at one time in the reckoning for the role of Tony Stark ( which was utlimately played by RDJ) and it is interesting to see how he fleshes this character (Justin Hammer), who in many ways tries ( failingly) to model himself after Tony Stark. Who can forget Scarlett Johansson's smoking hot turn as Tony's lawyer / Secret Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Her supple yet lethal fight scene where she fights off a dozen baddies is a treat to watch!

What doesn't: fanFrEeks had high expectations when Mickey Rourke was signed on to play Ivan Vanko, the crazed russian inventor with a historical grudge against Tony, while Rourke definetly looks the crazy part, he is just not given enough screen time! The "birth" of the superhero "War Machine" when Col. Rhodes decides to borrow Iron Man's spare armour to deal with Tony's alcoholism, is true to the comic book storyline but is an unusual plot nevertheless!

Bhala mera armour, tere armour se safed kaisa??

Verdict: Despite it's strecthed plotlines, IRON MAN 2 is the definitive summer blockbuster, and you would be one messed up frEek to miss this one!

extra freEky: Iron Man's suit is actually a gold-titanium alloy!!

Housefull: Full of Inspirations!!

An early-birdy hellos, freEk fellows!

For someone took well-aimed and ruthless pot shots at film-makers, Sajid Khan probably threw away all caution to the wind when he took on the mantle of director himself. His earlier venture “Hey-Babyy” was an unashamed rip-off of that 80s Hollywood classic “Three Men and a Baby”, and his new mish-mash “Housefull” appears to a well convoluted mix of recent Hollywood blockbusters..

What it is: Akki (quite convincingly) plays an endearing yet neurotic “loser in love” (borrowing liberally from Ben Stiller’s character in “Along Came Polly” and “Heartbreak Kid”) when his first, hurried marriage to seductress ( read nymphomaniac) Jiah Khan ( trying hard to come off as sexy, and failing by miles!) doesn’t go quite as planned, Akki finds himself falling in love with Deepika Padukone (effortless) and trying desperately to get out of his marriage with the suspicious Jiah. Add to this a half dozen twists and turns and Akki finds himself (pretending to be) married to Lara Dutta as well! At some point in time, all 3 heroines show in bikinis, at which point one wonders if the movie should have been called “Blousefull!”

What works: Akki who hasn’t had a hit in a while, puts a lot of effort in the characterisation of his neurotic and hapless character, almost making it work. Riteish Deskhmukh as Akki’s friend brings along his easy charm and Arjun Rampal as an army man, suspicious of Akki’s motives, plays his stern persona well. Chunky Panday as the imaginatively titled “Aakhri Pasta” and Boman Irani ham up their parts collectively, this ham and pasta dish is too rich for my taste (burrrpp!) To Sajid’s credit he seamlessly manages to make the year’s first purely fun film! And yes, that “item-number” with Jackie Fernandes is pure-fun! the modern version of the Lawaris number “Aap Kya Hoga”

What doesn’t: Yes Akki is one of the best looking guys around, yet his pairings with heroines substantially younger than himself are wee bit yucky (Yucky Akki!) to say the least. The seduction number between him and Jiah Khan seems like the sequel to Nishabd! Sajid also follows David Dhawan’s and Priyadarshan’s tried and tested route of adding twists and new characters to compensate for the lack of a basic plotline. For viewers of angrezi hits such as “the Heartbreak Kid” and the “Hangover” the mish-mashed scenes will bring a unwelcome feeling of déjà-vu!

Verdict:

An iffy -iffy 3 freEkies!

Positioning itself as Bollywood’s first major summer release post the IPL extravaganza, Housefull surely stands to gain from crowds looking for their next dose of escapism, just wish that the thrills, lasted a little longer than the theatre exit!!